


We'll take on the world

by redlipsredledger



Category: Black Widow (Comics), Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel, Marvel (Comics), Marvel 616, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Winter Soldier (Comics)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, BAMF Clint Barton, BAMF Natasha Romanov, Blackmail, Brainwashing, Broken Bones, Broken Promises, Bucky Barnes Recovering, Clint Barton & Natasha Romanov Friendship, Comics/Movie Crossover, Dark Past, Deaf Clint Barton, F/M, Gen, I'm Bad At Summaries, I'm Bad At Tagging, Mind Control Aftermath & Recovery, Not Canon Compliant, On the Run, Past Brainwashing, Past Lives, Pre-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Protective Natasha Romanov, Protective Steve Rogers, Protective Tony Stark, Recovery, Rescue Missions, Spies & Secret Agents, Steve Rogers & Natasha Romanov Friendship, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Twisted, Twisted and Fluffy Feelings, Winter Soldier Bucky Barnes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-13
Updated: 2020-12-18
Packaged: 2021-03-10 21:20:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,813
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28053789
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/redlipsredledger/pseuds/redlipsredledger
Summary: Okay so, basically I had this random thought. What if before The winter soldier movie someone lured Natasha back to her captors? What if she helped Bucky to destroy SHIELD? What if the best assassin team in the world was finally back together for a horror show that'll make everyone that loves Natasha question everything?Natasha had a life, Natalia has a purpose.There are three people on the planet better trained to kill than anyone else: Natalia Romanova, James Barnes and Yelena Belova. Two are under control but the third, their little wildcard must fall back in line for the plans of monsters to work.When the world burns around the avengers will they be able to do what they need to do when it's their own friend that lit the fuse to the bomb that blre apart the world they knew?
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Natasha Romanov, Pepper Potts/Tony Stark, Sharon Carter/Steve Rogers
Comments: 6
Kudos: 16





	1. The devils in the detail

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okay so, basically I had this random thought. What if before The winter soldier movie someone lured Natasha back to her captors? What if she helped Bucky to destroy SHIELD? What if the best assassin team in the world was finally back together for a horror show that'll make everyone that loves Natasha question everything?
> 
> Natasha had a life, Natalia has a purpose.
> 
> There are three people on the planet better trained to kill than anyone else: Natalia Romanova, James Barnes and Yelena Belova. Two are under control but the third, their little wildcard must fall back in line for the plans of monsters to work.
> 
> When the world burns around the avengers will they be able to do what they need to do when it's their own friend that lit the fuse to the bomb that blre apart the world they knew?

A four day mission hadn't quite been how she'd wanted to spend her weekend that was for sure. It was meant to take 48 hours if that but things had gone slightly awry and all of a sudden it had become a huge thing and she was more than a little bit irritated by the time she'd gotten back to the avengers facility. She wanted to go home but she'd been dropped off here and so as she entered the building from the helipad she pretty much shot daggers at everyone in the room who immediately offered her a quizzical look. 

She just shook her head and sighed.

After a shower and a change of clothes she still felt uptight and achy but at least a little less like crap so there was that, she hadn't incurred any major injuries but she did have a bruise or two not that she really cared about that. She was used to that, what she did care about however was the extreme exhaustion she felt, she hadn't exactly had much chance to rest or sleep but the missions were rarely a time where any agent got much time to sleep or rest at all unless it was deep cover but that wasn't what this was - thankfully - so when she'd gotten back she was running on empty.

She meandered back into the lounge with a towel in her hand as she attempted to do her best to dry off her hair and Clint offered her a small uncertain smile. Natasha apologised as she fell down on the couch and Clint - being Clint - informed her it was fine and he forgave her but he did seem to have one of this _Lightbulb_ moments because he put his hand up in one of those 'Oh hey!' kinds of gestures as he rose from his seat to wander over to pluck up an envelope from the counter and held it out to her.

"This came for you while you were away, hand posted so I don't know where it's from or whatever." Clint shrugged, he didn't see anything bad about it.

People still sent letters, it was a thing right? He felt pretty sure it was still a thing because he got letters all the time... Mostly telling him he had to pay his bills. Being an adult sucked.

Natasha however assessed it with a level of suspicion that most would find unusual and even a little uncalled for but she knew all too well that things could very well be far from what they seemed and something as innocuous as an envelope could be far from it, she turned it over in her hands a few times before reading her name scrawled in neat script on the front and frowned at it. Who the hell would be sending her a letter?

It wasn't as though she did pen pals and the fact that it was hand delivered therefore no postmark just made her all the more suspicious of it.

Still, she stood up once again and she walked a little away from her best friend as she opened the envelope; inside of it were a collection of photos, each surveillance pictures of her friends and she leafed through them with an undeniable concern before she slid them back in and pulled out the note slipped in there along with them; it was short but menacing nonetheless. 

_Your little vacation has gone on long enough Natalia. We've humored you so far and haven't killed you for your traitorous insolence but we grow bored. Come home. Do this peacefully and your friends will survive. You have until midnight to decide. As you can see it hasn't been all that difficult for us to keep tabs on them, you wouldn't want it to be a bullet next would you? Come home._

She felt sick as she read the letter, her eyes closed as she released a long, deep breath before she shoved it back inside and turned around grabbing her keys and her phone off of the counter with a painted smile on her lips as Clint turned to address her.

"Everything okay?" he questioned warily, he was clearly worried.

"Yeah, just a letter off of my neighbor. Guess she figured I'd come back here after my mission. She's broken her hip and she needs some help. Guess she got our other neighbor to drop it off for her." She lied fluidly never once letting her expression slip to tell the horror or the anguish she felt inside.

"M'kay but if you need a hand let me know?" Clint replied, Natasha nodded in response before she turned to walk out.

She wouldn't allow her friend to see the pain on her face as she pushed the button on the elevator to go to the ground floor. Doing it this way was probably best anyway, she never did like Goodbyes. She had always wondered why it started with 'Good' when all she'd seen from them was pain and that just went contrary to Good, didn't it?

By the time she got back to her apartment she was on autopilot. She shoved her things haphazardly into a bag and left her keys on the table by the door on her way out. It was unlikely that she'd need them after this anyway. She wished just momentarily that she could do something or say something to her friends but all it would do was raise an issue that'd get out of hand quickly. It was for the best this way or at least she hoped it was, there wasn't all that much she could do about it now was there? She had no choice and those pictures and that note had proved that.

So much for being free.

If this was her freedom though it wasn't worth the price it'd cost. Her friends would be dead and it'd be her fault and then she'd have to live with that and ultimately it'd revert her back to what she was anyway so this was the easiest path, it was the one that wouldn't get anyone killed and the simplest one to follow for everyone's sake. She hated it with every fibre of her being but what else could she do? She could stay, she could try to persuade everyone to fight but for what? Fight against monsters for the sake of one person? She'd fought monsters for one person before but that was different.

_Your whole world in the balance and you bargain for one man?_

She would've done anything then to get Clint home safe but she couldn't let them lose their lives fighting a futile, losing battle against the monsters that made up her world. They deserved better than that, Clint Barton had saved her once upon a time or he'd done a damn good job at trying to. He was a good man, enough pain and harm had befallen her friends and things didn't seem to be heading toward anything simpler any time soon and she wouldn't put them through more. They'd be just fine without her.

It was a sacrifice she was willing to make. Her life for theirs, it was the most noble thing she could do now. There'd be nothing they could trace, no goodbye note nor explanation to why she'd just upped and left but it was simpler that way. No one would know where to start looking for her that way, she had no doubt that they'd try to do it but she'd never leave a trail for them to follow willingly, all she could do was hope that they'd just let her go even though she knew they wouldn't.

Especially not Clint. Just let it go. Let _me_ go.

* * *

_5 hours later,_

The whole plane ride there she'd tried to find a way to get out of this without losing everything but every path she considered just ended in someone dying. She should've known better all those years ago and she knew it. Natasha had never really been the type of person to pin anything on foolish hopes. She was always stronger than that, she'd been _trained_ to be stronger than that and conditioned to know better than to live her life on frivolous fantasies.

Hope was nothing but a futility, a word foolish people held to to make them feel like they still stood a chance at making it through whatever their shitty situation was.

Her friends had no hope of making it through this one. She knew the kinds of people they'd send after them. Banner would be fine, he could withstand the bullet no doubt but Tony, Clint, Steve... They'd die. They wouldn't walk away from a bullet to the head, these people were efficient, the best of the best and they were for a damn good reason.

She found herself idly wondering who they'd send should they have to simply through a lack of anything better to do than tear herself apart in her head. These people would do that enough for her there was no sense in doing their jobs for her but she supposed it was her way of grieving the life that she was leaving behind and those that she'd grown to care for. She half expected them to send an escort so she was surprised when they hadn't and it was on her to find her way back - as they put it - home. She wouldn't run and they knew it.

They had too much leverage over her for her to be stupid enough to run.

Stalingrad no longer existed, it had been wiped years ago, they called it Volgograd now but the name hardly mattered to her, the monsters that lay inside of the city were her focus not the city itself. Getting there from the airfield that she'd been dropped in on was again the easy part but steadying herself for what she'd face when she finally arrived at the facility was another thing entirely. She wondered why this place was allowed to continue but then no one knew what it truly was did they?

No one knew the real evils that went on inside of those walls but she did all too well and she hated it.

She hated _them_ but her hatred wouldn't change a damn thing. 

She was also surprised when her when her access code worked, she only figured she'd try it because she didn't think standing there smiling sardonically at the camera would do her any favors all things considered. She suspected she knew what they wanted from her but with no definitive proof of that she considered the thought that they could've finally set up her execution and she wondered which method they'd use as she entered the facility.

She didn't have long to mull over it because she was grabbed almost immediately by two large, heavily armored men.

It took every ounce of restraint in her not to beat the shit out of them.

Most of the facility was underground and so she was forced into an elevator at the end of the hall and she leaned against the back wall having yanked her arms free and she released a deep, heavy sigh. She should've taken an hour or two to just walk around and make the final hours she had of freedom last a little longer alas, she had not. Perhaps she just wanted this over with.

She was gripped once again by her guards as the elevator stopped but they were quickly dismissed as a man stood in front of her the moment the doors pinged open. He stood in full tac gear with half of his face covered, dishevelled dark hair hanging around his face and a blank expression in his eyes. She stood frozen to the spot as she studied him and she fought back emotion, she didn't need to make her situation any worse by being too emotional about it.

The only hint of the metal of his arm were the parts that peeked through the fingerless gloves.

Natasha said nothing.

He assessed her coldly before muttering _Move_ in an emotionless tone in perfect Russian before he turned and stalked back down the hallway, he didn't bother to make sure she was following him because he already knew she would. He didn't know this woman nor should he care who she was, all he was told to do was escort her to the lab once she got inside the facility and that was exactly what he intended to do. She wouldn't disobey, she'd be a fool to do so in a building with this many highly trained agents. She'd be dead before she reached the door.

She was unsure whether it was the deafening silence or the way that she'd forgotten just how cold everyone in this place was but she felt a pang of fear inside of her that she hadn't felt for years. Fear would do her no good here and she reminded herself of that over and over as she reached the door to the lab and followed her escort inside. She was met with three people: A 'Doctor' if you could call him that and two people that she could only assume where assistants of some form or another, she'd elected not to pay any attention to the three armed guards in the room.

They all averted their eyes to the floor though as the man that escorted her inside began to scan the room, it seemed even they were afraid of him. She understood why they were afraid of him, once she'd been the same as they were. It didn't seem like he recognised her st all.

Maybe she didn't him either, she was still unsure whether anything she thought she remembered from this place was even real.

"Natalia," the 'doctor' spoke with a smooth, snakelike voice. "Welcome home."

She grimaced.

"What do you want?" She questioned, she already knew. Dammit.

"Soon enough it won't matter," he promised.

He inclined his head to the cold soldier and he pulled her forward to shove her roughly toward a table instructing her to make this easy and comply. She cast a look at him over her shoulder as he stepped around her before she closed her eyes and laid down.

The doctor - needle in hand - flicked the syringe and moved toward her, jabbing her in the neck with no care at all. She listened to him speak as the chemical pounded through her body.

"You'll be useful once again," he shrugged, "Your days of false freedom are over child."

That was it, in the blink of an eye and the stab of a needle she felt everything she'd accomplished and everything she'd worked for slipping away moment by moment. She whispered an apology that they'd never hear to her friends.

She knew what was coming next, she'd known what she was walking into all along but she'd fooled herself into thinking she could get out of it.

Welcome to hell all over again Natalia Romanova.


	2. Cover me up again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Her first mission back is a success but perhaps that only goes to prove that they really can reclaim their asset...
> 
> [AKA Nat & Yelena bond some]

It took just hours to have everything gone. It hadn't been a painless experience but then it never was; she didn't remember the pain either by the time they were done. Stood in the training room, her eyes remained fixed on the door in front of her and she stayed silent, she was no longer to speak without the permission of her handlers.

The soldier stepped through the door and assessed her with a blank expression almost like he didn't even notice she was there until he stepped forward and beckoned her to do the same. 

She did just as she was wordlessly instructed to do.

He moved quicker than she could comprehend and he took her down to the floor by sweeping her legs from under her, she landed with her back against the mat but she showed no signs of pain despite the shock that it had sent through her body. He stared at her and shook his head in a disapproving manner.

"Disappointing," he hissed. "Get up."

He didn't bother to help her up at all but then he didn't need to, she sprang to her feet and this time she took a defensive stance. It must've been muscle memory because she dodged his lunge and her foot connected with his back as he moved past her knocking him forward, he turned with a swing. She ducked beneath it and with a knock to his knee he fell down with one knee pressed against the mat.

This time he nodded his head and stood up again.

"Better."

It was probably the closest thing she was going to get to a compliment. He moved once again with a flip to the side as she attacked and moved behind her, his arm went around her throat and he placed his hand on the back of her head; Natalia was all too familiar with a choke hold, her head swung back connecting with his nose and as he released her she spun abruptly and brought her foot to the side of his head. This time he went down.

She went back to her still state as he rose to his feet and assessed her again. She wasn't entirely bad he'd give her that.

"Humph, maybe you _are_ skilled." It sounded like a reluctant admittance but one she was happy with anyway.

She almost smiled. Almost. Her schooled expression however remained because she could see the way he was looking at her, it was almost as though he was daring her to slip up and respond. 

Their training went on for the whole morning and by the end of it she had bruising, aching muscles and a bust lip. He didn't fair up much better which seemed to impress her handlers. He - as she overheard - was asked to give a report on exactly how she'd done and she watched him as he nodded compliantly.

While she wouldn't at all get to know what was in his report it didn't stop the momentary pang of curiosity. 

She was informed that afternoon though she'd be going through what they referred to as a _Mission Briefing._ It was another way of telling her that she'd be programmed and sent out into the world with a purpose all over again but awareness of that - while lurking somewhere in the back of her mind - seemed to escape her entirely for now. She was to do as she was told to do and her handler hadn't permitted her to answer his order and so she remained silent.

This at least seemed to please him. Natalia's green eyes fixed on the wall behind him.

When she was put in a room with a blonde woman not an hour after that she assessed her carefully, a flicker of recognition in her eyes as the woman spoke to her with a smirk painted upon red lips; her brow furrowed and she looked genuinely confused for a brief moment before her thoughts settled in order.

"Home again Natalia." The blonde commented as she studied her head to foot. "I'm surprised you weren't sooner."

"Yelena," Natalia replied, her recognition settling in as she greeted her. "Are you my partner?"

A natural question she supposed but Yelena seemed to contemplate whether or not she should answer her for a moment before she shrugged and nodded her head; it was clear to her that the blonde was offered far more freedom than she seemed to but perhaps she was being punished for something and she'd earn it back again. It was the only thing she could think of that made any sense.

She had been wiped so thoroughly that she remembered nothing before yesterday in the lab. 

"You could say that," she commented offhandedly waving her hand dismissively. "Our mission will be accompanied by others but that's none of your concern."

The blonde was definitely afforded far more freedoms than she was, she spoke so freely without fear of repercussion which was curious. Perhaps she was a handler too now... That thought didn't settle quite right though and so Natalia looked somewhat troubled by it as she tried to figure it all out in her mind. She _knew_ this woman. It wasn't- She really knew her and not just her name.

"I don't remember how we-" She cut off shaking her head. Questions would be bad.

"How we know one another?" The blonde finished for her, "We grew up together you and I, it'll all return to you in time. Your last mission was a failure so they've had to ah, punish you."

Punishment, that was what she'd suspected and so she did nothing but nod stiffly. Punishment made the most sense. She had thought as much but she didn't voice it for fear that she'd meet one worse than the one she already had. She must've messed up badly for her to remember this little.

"Now, we should get you to the lab." Gesturing toward the door Yelena made it clear that she'd be escorting her there.

This felt _wrong_ in a way that she couldn't begin to comprehend. Since when had she been second to Yelena? Since when had she answered to her? It felt wrong. She rolled her eyes and laughed as she shook her head. Little bits trickling through and she studied her curiously. Yelena however looked at her like she'd gone mad. Natalia simply shook her head.

Once again that flicker of recognition seemed to spark something in her brain that remained fracture but it was there regardless, she could remember slight things, two young girls raised together and trained together. Two girls partnered up but marked by rivalry yet still the closest thing either of them had to family.

Was that right or real though? She wasn't sure if it was another trick or not. 

"And since when did I answer to you, _sestra_?" 

"Ah, so you are in there somewhere," Yelena smirked as she spoke, "Since you decided to mess up and you needed to be punished."

She answered the question indifferently. She seemed somewhat amused by the fact that Natalia did indeed sound something like her old self even if it was just a fraction. Good, sooner or later she'd get herself back to whatever _normal_ there was here and she'd be back to being the asset and partner that she used to be, she did indeed miss working with her even though half of the missions were usually spent with her competing with her. Perhaps it was time to let that rivalry go.

She'd already bested her _Sister_ by staying loyal. Natalia was the insolent child again just as she had when she'd done what she had with The Winter Soldier. This time she'd better learn to fall in line or she would meet a rather unpleasant end.

Natalia however remained unaware.

She inclined her head toward the door again making it clear that the time for conversation was over. Natalia walked ahead of her though shooting a look over her shoulder before she shrugged. Indeed parts of who she used to be were indeed peeking through but that was the programming.

She was made to remember who she was when she was here and forced in that mindset all over again to forget who she'd been since she'd left. Implants were powerful and it took a lot to break through them... 

The trouble was to break through them you had to know you were under one. She didn't and it wouldn't matter if she did, she wasn't mentally strong enough after yesterdays wipe to do anything about it. What she'd been through was worse than anything else they'd put her through before. The wipe was deeper this time.

As she entered the lab she fought a smirk as Yelena commented offhandedly about her delivering their little deviant. The man stood beside the table however did not seem to find it funny at all and so both of them settled with straight and blank expressions immediately.

It was as though she instinctively knew what they were and were not allowed to do without permission and it had already been made clear to her that her best bet was to fall in line and quickly. She did as she was asked and settled into their torture device, at leas that was the phrase that popped into her head for it...

Here comes the headache. 

* * *

_48 hours missing,_

Natalia studied her outfit in the mirror with an undeniable look of disdain. She swept her hand over her leg as she lifted it so that her foot was on the bed and she strapped a small knife to her upper thigh, it was covered and coated in a paralytic in case she might happen to need it. They were always well prepared after all. It was a simple mission, extract information and kill the target in as discreet a way as possible which meant a slow acting poison.

They'd be long gone by the time it took hold and he wouldn't be found until morning with nothing to tie it back to them. It was simple. They'd done it hundreds of times in the past. Not every kill they were to make would be at a distance, some required more sacrifice than that. 

"I hate these missions," Yelena sighed. She knew no one was listening in or at least they weren't right now. "They're boring."

She actually sounded pouty. Natalia found that undeniably funny because she flicked her eyes up to look at her and she shook her head as she straightened herself up again smoothing out her dress out before she walked over to the mirror to fix her lipstick as she shrugged her shoulders nonchalantly.

"I don't know, they're not _that_ bad, we get to go to a party," Natalia pointed out with a playful smirk. "It could be worse, no is gonna shoot us if we do our jobs right."

That indeed was a good point. Yelena conceded with a set of rolled blue eyes and a soft laugh. She truly had missed the missions the two of them would embark upon that weren't exactly ones that required them to be more rivals than anything else.

The ones where none of them was sent in to 'Clean up the mess' the other one had created, the ones where they actually got along? Those were the types that Yelena had missed.

Not that she'd admit it. 

"Free alcohol is never a disadvantage," Yelena agreed, "However we _Do_ need to get what we need out of the target first so we need to decide who plays which part."

"By that you mean who pulls the seduction of our dear soon to be departed friend and who seduces his poor unfortunate bodyguard?" Natalia questioned playfully, "I'll take the bodyguard, wouldn't wanna steal your show."

"Mm, no." Yelena shook her head. "I've been informed to let you take lead I just wanted to see if you'd offer." 

That was curious.

She was apparently being given the chance to prove to her handlers that whatever this _mistake_ of hers was was something that she could right and prove to them that she still had a use. She couldn't quite place why but she felt as though she owed more to the female in the room with her and the male she'd been training with than she did anyone else in that facility.

That was probably because - as she'd been told - they'd both been her mission partners a few times. It was that simple or at least she'd been told it was and thus she assumed such. She looked toward the blonde and she nodded a singular motion to show understanding.

If this was her chance to atone for her foolish wrongs then she'd take it and she'd use it to prove to her handlers that she was useful. She'd rather prove useful than meet a bullet.

"Then let's go and give them a good show." Natalia almost sounded amused and the look on Yelena's face showed her she approved.

Good, it seemed as though she was willing to fall in line again or at least for now. As the two of them made their way into the quaint little wine bar each looked around immediately assessing anyone and anything that could be a threat, they noted every way out and every entrance.

They were trained to do so and had within 30 seconds of being inside before each settled in a small booth just to the left of the bar; the crowds all seemed to gather in the middle of the room but they stayed off to the side purposely to garner attention.

Men often wondered why beautiful women sat alone.

As the waitress walked over and offered both women a wine list each mulled over it for only a few minutes before Yelena decided on a sweet red wine; Yelena found herself trying to recall the last time she'd had anything that didn't taste bitter or bland.

Within moments they were served drinks when a man appeared behind the waitress - who Natalia estimated to be in her late 20s - and formed her that he'd be buying their drinks. Right in cue. They were after all made up to play the part of exactly what he'd look for.

It worked a charm.

He requested that they join him at his table and with a few playful flirtatious comments and coy smiles they agreed making him make an effort to make it worth their time. It wasn't their job to play easy, that would draw questions especially for two women like them.

Natalia listened to him drone on about his business, about his now-ex wife as he informed her that if she was as beautiful as Natalia herself was perhaps they'd still be married, he couldn't seem to keep his hands to himself which made her cringe and want to stab him in the throat for reasons she couldn't make sense of and so she suppressed them and went about her job.

He boasted fortune and connections, telling them about all of the things he'd facilitated between cartels, drug runners, traffickers and smugglers as he leaned close enough for her to feel her hot breath on his neck; her hands balled into fists but she reminded herself over and over that their mission was more important.

They couldn't blow this, they needed to get him talking and they did. Within just an hour he'd admitted enough to prove that he was a liability which was exactly why they were hired; he was quite the talker and it was exactly what they needed.

He had given them everything they needed without much effort at all on their part beyond putting up with suggestive comments, sexual references and handsy assholes which was mild considering. Still, every single time he laid a hand on her skin at all she could feel herself fighting a shudder and resisting the urge to kill him there and then. That wasn't her job, her job was to play along and allow him to think that he was the one in control of the situation when in reality the moment they'd gotten his file he'd lost control of absolutely everything.

Including his own life.

A few drinks and flirting and they had both men in the palm of their hands which made this particular mission short and sweet. Three hours after it began it was over with which was both a good and bad thing. Their target wouldn't be dead for another seven hours or so and it wouldn't show up in any toxicology tests they performed. It was efficient, they'd gotten absolutely everything they wanted out of their target and they'd be on their way home in record time; she hoped like hell she'd proved themselves, or more that she had begun to prove herself to their handlers and that she wouldn't meet more punishment upon her return to the compound. 

She was already so far from who she used to be and her hell hadn't even started yet. By the time that these people were done there'd only be their cold little assassin in there and that would be all. She'd remain devoid of her humanity too this time around. The only people she'd care at all about was the people they'd allow her to be around and even then it would be to ensure her loyalty and willingness to work with them alone. 

Her and Yelena made an effective team, as did her and The Winter Soldier. This time around though they'd be certain that there'd be no emotions to get in their way.

"You did well tonight," Yelena commented as they got back to their hotel suite. "They'll be pleased."

Still, the blonde held a playful smirk on her features as she held up what Natalia estimated to be two bottles of very expensive Champaign. 

"But how about _we_ celebrate a job well done before we go home tomorrow, hm?" Yelena suggested as she walked over to sit down at the table. "Unless you can't handle your alcohol anymore dear Sister."

"I'm pretty sure I can outdrink you," Natalia replied playfully as she walked over to sit opposite her, "We do indeed deserve our own celebration."

That, that would be the most normal they'd get to be in a while...


	3. Heaven and hell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A missing best friend and two gunshots that crack open a chasm they're all on the edge of... The fuse is lit and there's no stopping the fire but what rises from the ashes remains to be seen.

It was another early start, by 6am she'd had her breakfast and was already undergoing her second hour of training. To say they hadn't gone easy on her would be an understatement; come time for her to be in the shooting range she was still nursing a wrist she couldn't say for certain wasn't broken but it hurt like hell.

She didn't complain about it though, in fact she said nothing at all because she knew by now complaint wouldn't get her anywhere.

She didn't reach for a single weapon until she was handed one and told - in very exact terms - what she was to do and informed if she were to try anything else she'd meet a very unpleasant end; Natalia hit every target with no effort whatsoever even with the blindfold over her eyes. She was naturally praised by her handlers for doing so though she heard a few comment on how they were hardly surprised given all the training she'd had over the years and that had been the first confirmed references she'd had to whatever her past was. Whatever this past of hers was seemed to bring with it impressive skills, skills it would seem would keep her alive because it was skills that made them seem favorable to her.

Skills that would evidently earn her continued favor if she didn't ' _act out_ ' again and she'd been warned about that repeatedly; she'd proved to them so far that she was once again useful to them and that she'd be what they needed her to be because that was what she was trained to do.

She was highly trained and had been a valuable asset before whatever failure it was that she had and that was apparently displeasing to her handlers. She'd disobeyed and she'd let them down and through trial and training and missions she'd earn back the trust and the respect she'd lost with her insolence and that at least gave her focus and a goal; she wondered what it was she'd done that had been so wrong though because nothing inside of her recalled absolutely anything before being here but maybe that was for the best, decidedly she tried not to dwell too much on it.

She'd never ask, questions like that would undoubtedly be met with punishment and she knew better than most that she ought to behave herself by now because she'd been warned as much far too many times. She had no interest in meeting her end. Her training went on day after day and it became more and more rigorous until about ten days had passed and all sense of self she'd had before was long since forgotten and the person that had existed and 'thrived' inside of this place was alive and well and she was exactly as she was before: The pride of her handlers.

Her partnerships in training varied in training between Yelena and The Winter Soldier and she was told that she was to learn his moves because their mission together had to be a success; she was somewhat curious about him no doubt but then from what she knew about him he was too dangerous to get on the wrong side of. He was the best weapon that HYDRA had ever turned out and the Black Widow was to learn what he had to teach her because it was imperative that the two of them worked well together.

She didn't get to learn what the mission was just yet of course, she wasn't privy to that information no doubt because she wasn't completely trusted just yet but she went on proving herself every day regardless with one feat accomplished after another, one goal after another hit and surpassed and she'd once again established as their prized little pet and she could see the envy upon Yelena's features every single time the two of them were in the same place but she'd reminded her over and over that she shouldn't look at their rivalry as a bad thing.

They should push one another to be better and that was about the only way that she could think of to encourage her to keep bettering herself rather than allowing her to fall into disgrace and losing her sense of freedoms; Natalia wanted nothing to happen to Yelena, she'd no sooner sacrifice Yelena's life than she would her own. Caring was... Interesting. She supposed it was more familiarity though than anything else, it felt almost like the two of them were sisters and yet rivalry seemed like it was normal for the both of them but it wouldn't get them anywhere.

Training with the Soldier had been the hardest part of all of it. Unlike Yelena he was unrelenting, he didn't let up for even a moment and he put her down day after day and most wise people would've given up and backed the hell off but that wasn't an option for her. She was pushed day after day to almost her breaking point; every inch of her body hurt but she wasn't allowed to break, breaking was forbidden. She had to be stronger, she had to be better and there was no other option afforded to her. Always a step further, always a fall harder.

She wasn't allowed to show weakness and as the days slowly ticked from days into two weeks she downed him more easily than she had before. The first time he'd sworn to her that it was a fluke.

The second, he'd looked mildly impressed but by the fifth and six times he seemed proud. 

"You're learning," he complimented as their session came to a close, "I'll make something of you yet."

That intrigued her, it seemed somewhere between a tease and a promise. She just smiled and shook her head. He looked at her sometimes like he almost knew her and sometimes it felt like she knew him too. He countered her moves and she'd begun to do the same so easily it was like each could anticipate what the other was going to do but she'd put it down to the fact that he'd obviously trained girls here before her who'd been trained to fight like she was and he'd probably continue to do so long after, too.

He was clearly their most prized possession.

The two of them seemed to move together so easily though, each of their moves seemed to compliment the other and it seemed like they knew where to step and where to move to make it fluid and easy. It became as easy as breathing and she couldn't begin to comprehend why, she could read the confusion on his face too but both of them shook it off and buried it.

All of the bruises though seemed worth it because their handlers seemed proud; the two of them had received plenty a compliment over the next few days and informed that they were 'Almost ready' though what that meant she daren't guess. It was like trying to predict the path of the rain and equally as futile a task as doing it too. They'd know only when they were supposed to know and only what they needed to know when they did.

There would be nothing that they'd get to know that extended outside of the mission parameters and it'd all be wiped away again when they were done and they'd be back to this, back to the training waiting for the next time they were required.

She wasn't aware of that part though. It was only essential for them to know enough to get the job done and their handlers would be in control of the situation the whole time just as they always had been before and that was something they reminded her day after day, she was to answer to them and she was to follow her instruction to the letter and she would, this felt somehow familiar to her and it felt almost like who she was even with the small nagging voice in the back of her head that occasionally broke through and caused her to pause.

She had to shake it off though. Disobedience again would not be tolerated and they'd made that perfectly clear.

Days ticked by and their mission training had become more and more vigorous until they were told that tomorrow they'd be sent on whatever this mission of theirs was and that if they accomplished it the world would know for certain who - and what - they were and that they'd be rewarded highly, this pleased both of them because each of them seemed somewhat relieved in a manner that she couldn't even begin to understand. Natalia Romanova was soon to be able to prove herself properly and not just in small and seemingly insignificant missions.

At least this time - she was informed - she wasn't to seduce anyone, instead she'd have the gun placed in her hand and she was to take the shots when she was ordered. She was to take out her targets and she was to do so as and when instructed and she wasn't to argue with that not that she could. The thought of it made her somewhere between nervous and glad at the opportunity to end this tentative probationary period of hers and gain some real, true freedom all over again the way Yelena seemed to have.

She and the soldier trained day after day to perfect their moves, they were fluid by the time it came for them to be instructed their mission would begin in the next few days and she felt a sort of nervous sense of anticipation. She wasn't certain anymore whether it was because she wanted to prove herself to them or to _him_ but it was something, undeniably there was something. There was something she wanted to try to prove to someone but she wasn't wholly sure who; her handlers seemed to believe that it was to them and she was fine with that.

Each day it seemed as though the bubbling tension hit her like a train and the moment he touched her it was like a jolt of electricity and he seemed to feel it too because there were moments where he'd run his hand slower than he needed to across her skin, times where the holds he put her in were more careful than he was supposed to but each of them bounced back to being exactly what they were trained to be when they were no longer in the room alone. It was curious. 

* * *

"Anyone seen Tasha?" Clint glanced at each face that sat in the room, each man shook their head which just made him frown and blow out a sigh. "She's not answering her phone and she hasn't been home in like three weeks. Keep checking and she ain't there."

"I have no idea," Steve looked worried as he spoke, "She didn't mention having a mission? Have you talked to Nick or Maria?"

Clint rolled his eyes and gave Steve one of those looks that said _Are you serious?_ Without him actually having to say it and it made Steve naturally frown and he blew out a sigh. Clint had naturally checked in with both to make sure that Natasha hadn't been sent on something or another that was going to wind up getting her killed and both had sworn that she wasn't on a mission and they were going to coordinate search the moment that Clint got back to them which - as of yet - he hadn't because he'd been hoping that maybe with all the time she was spending with Steve before she disappeared that he might know something.

"Yeah, she ain't on any mission. She's just upped and vanished apparently and I'm starting to get really, _really_ worried. It's not like Tasha to just disappear without saying anything 'specially not to me. She usually tells me if she's gonna go someplace to recuperate or something. She wouldn't just leave." Clint seemed resolute in that fact. Natasha would not just up and leave on him. She'd leave something. A note, a voicemail, a text message. She'd leave _anything._ She wouldn't just up and leave.

"I think she's in trouble..." Clint admitted as he kicked his foot along the ground. "We're gonna work with SHIELD I guess. Get a team out there looking for her, guess I'll go with. You wanna come?"

Steve had as much right as anyone did to go with him, he knew how much Steve cared for Natasha and how close the two of them had become over the past few years. It wasn't like you didn't form a bond with someone in this kind of life and Steve Rogers had been through enough and since he'd been back he'd faced a complicated life. Clint - while having one far from simple himself - couldn't possibly relate to what Steve had gone through. He'd lost so much, he deserved a sense of belonging.

"Yeah, of course," Steve responded with a nod as he stood up. "Are you sure she wouldn't just go on vacation? We've had a rough time lately..."

Clint shook his head vehemently though. He knew Natasha well enough by know to know that she wouldn't just up and leave like that and leave him worrying about her, he was her best friend. She'd have told him _something_ so that he didn't worry about her but there'd been nothing. She'd said nothing, there'd been no signs at all to even make him think that she might want to drop off the grid like this.

"No!" Clint shot back obviously growing annoyed, "If she was gonna leave she'd have said _something._ She wouldn't just disappear the way that she has, she knows we'd worry too much. Tasha might be private about her life outside of here but she wouldn't just leave and not say a word about it. She knows that we'd look for her if she did and that it'd scare the hell out of us. It's Nat, we're her family."

Clint was frustrated, he sat in a room full of people he knew he should probably be able to trust but he didn't, he didn't trust a damn one of them because this was Natasha. Nat was missing and her life might very well be on the line and they were dragging their feet, they were coming up with plans that he knew were stupid. If Natasha disappeared she wouldn't resurface until she wanted to if she even did but he had to try and he knew it. He knew though that some SHIELD concocted plan wasn't going to get them anywhere.

He'd listened to them droning on now for about half an hour and they'd come up with nothing useless, they were poking around in the dark. They didn't know all that much about Natasha's past but he knew a whole hell of a lot more than they did which was made very evident as he listened to them toss around useless theories and requests to reach out to contacts he already knew would know absolutely nothing about where she was or what had happened to make her leave.

He got up and walked out shaking his head and muttering to Maria on the way past.

"This is bullshit and you know it."

Maria seemed sympathetic to his plight because she placed her hand on his shoulder and offered him a smile but she nodded her head anyway. It was, they were wasting time and doing this meant that they were doing an on books op and that wasn't going to find Natasha. She was too good at her job for that. This required going underground deeper than SHIELD would permit. SHIELD had rules, this was probably one of those situations that didn't require rules to be in place. She glanced backward over her shoulder and she mouthed three words: Go find her.

That was all the approval Clint needed because he smiled as he was joined in the hallway by Steve Rogers who looked quizzically at him and Clint reached into his pocket to pull out his phone. He read the words on the screen and she grinned.

"We gotta go, SHIELD ain't gonna help. I have people that are gonna cover us."

"Cover us doing what, Clint?" Steve questioned dubiously.

"Going to get her back, duh!" he deadpanned Steve before he rolled his eyes. "I might not know where I'm going but I know where to start and that's something."

"Agent Barton," a soft voice broke from behind him and he turned looking at the woman holding out a manila file. "I thought you might want this."

"Sharon Carter, I'll be damned. It's been a few years," Clint addressed her with a grin. He studied her deciding that she looked well enough which was a relief; Sharon Carter was someone he'd met right when she'd started training to join the agency and even back then she'd had promise. She'd made one hell of an agent from what he knew.

"So, not a nurse," Steve commented with a raised brow as he studied Sharon, she shook her head apologetically.

"Agent Sharon Carter, I'm sorry Steve. I just followed orders." To her credit, Sharon did truly sound sorry. "I was just doing my job-"

"We can talk about it later," Steve cut her off by speaking before shaking his head "We have a job to do."

"'Kay well, everyone go home and rest up. I'll go over the file tonight and I'll call if anything sounds urgent enough for us to be able to follow. It ain't gonna be easy, we'll need all the rest we can get. I'll meet you at your apartment in the morning." Clint looked at Steve then who offered a nod of approval. "Call if anyone finds anything new."

As he walked off, Clint Barton found himself hoping like hell that he'd be able to bring his friend home whereas Steve was left with Sharon who looked like there was a whole hell of a lot she wanted to say but she simply couldn't find the words, Steve - thankfully - didn't seem too angry about it but he did however look upset.

"Can I give you a ride home?" Sharon offered, "Or not, it's up to you."

"Yeah," Steve agreed taking her up on the offer with a sense of uncertainty. "You didn't have to lie to me, Sharon." 

She hated how indignant he sounded and she cursed herself inwardly for what she'd done. She shook her head as she moved her hand to brush his.

"I never wanted to, it was just work. I was supposed to look out for you," she admitted. "Just make sure you were okay. It was supposed to be simple." 

It wasn't though. 

"I didn't want to lie to you Steve." she sounded so convincing... Perhaps that was why he spent the whole ride back to their apartment building silent. 

And the moment they stepped off of the elevator and he went back toward his apartment he wished he'd said something. Two shots rang out through the air and he watched one shot tear through Sharon's shoulder and she dropped to her knees as the other hit him center mass, he was thankful he had his suit on.

This was bad. This was very bad. 


End file.
